I am not me . . .

I tend to think sometimes about what I wanted to be when I was a kid or when I led a carefree life. But am not that now. In the course of life I have started to please every one around me that I now no longer myself, and if I try to be myself I am questioned "Sunandha, why are u changed? You are not the Sunandha I knew." I laugh at these comments coz' I know, Yes I am changed but for good, to seek the girl I had been, Happy and peaceful.

Now I dont wanna hurt any one, but I wanna be myself. Can I be . . . Nope I cant be . . . Why? . . . They dunno my originality, they only know what I was trying to be . . . I was just trying to make them happy . . .

This poems has my own feelings about life and how I feel strapped after I analyzed my life.

I hold on to my past;
Think about my future,
What I was; but,
What I wanted to be,
I knew what I am.

   I am,
      Who every one wanted me to be,
      Who every one thought was special,
      But its not me.

I hold on to a picture,
A dream that was me,
That would always be one,
I spread my wings far wide,
Take a leap to pleasure, but;

   I am,
      Who every one wanted me to be,
      Who every one thought was special,
      But its not me.

I hold on to my dream,
Live a life that’s a fake,
Take a step that’s destruction,
Look back and see me last,
For am not me, but;

   I am,
      Who every one wanted me to be,
      Who every one thought was special,
      But its not me.

I try to make them understand,
I try to make them trust,
I try and keep trying,
That’s not my fault; that’s what;
Every one wanted me to be.


© 2007 by Sunandha V.